Thursday, October 04, 2007
he needs the strap
And I am still getting stuff out of my parent's apartment. Looks like I will need to do the storage unit which I have been avoiding because now my father is failing. ugh. I spent all day Monday at Glen Meadows. He had a pain in his side and felt like he needed to go to the ER so I went over to be with my mother but we couldn't figure out if he shoudl take an ambulance or what.
Then I suggested I take both of them and my mother and I could be in the waiting room. Took them separately down to the car in the wheelchair just as the nurse for Independent Living comes running and says wait. He had called her an hour before but hadn't heard back so us being us, we took matters into our own hands. We are now experts at medical crises. She said she finally got a hold of my father's doctor and she was supposed to assess him and then he should see the doctor doing the clinic that day. Their doc has clinic there but not on Mondays. So we get them both back out of the car and up to the Wellness Center. My father can't walk so we get a second wheelchair and someone from At-home services to help. The nurse was frustrated with us. I told her to be patient with us. We are so used to this crisis scenario by now that we just do it ourselves.
So the doc said it coudl be a couple of things, first ... constipation (my guess since my father is so full of it and also a big baby when it comes to illness in himself ... remember he passed out when he was told he had prostate cancer!). Second is diverticulitis which he has had. So he finally got xrays yesterday ... they brought the machine there. And did blood work. He was supposed to have a cat scan today but that was postponed because his creatinine levels were too high and we didn't have the results yet from the blood work or the xrays.
So I took over for my father on Monday and got my mother a shower (which she got very nasty about but hey, she stank!), took her to get her bandage changed and to rehab. Also helped insure they got dinner delivered. It was interesting how my mother bucked up when my father was down. She had more energy, helped make lunch, etc. Part of their mishegoss is that whenever she does something my father hawks her so she gives up. ack.
Anyhoo. He is doing better but I realized that if for instance he had to go to the hospital, my mother could not be left alone. I talked to the resident manager and she said in that case spouses go in to the health center (nursing home) for respite care. Well I am glad that is there but we are talking $350 a day and plus she has been in so many facilities that I don't think that would be good. They only allow up to 8 hours of at home services. So if that happens, I guess I coudl spend the night and just have at home services during the day. I asked about hiring a private duty nurse and the manager said she didn't think that was allowed but would check in to it.
Mr. Doom and Gloom says he was too optimistic and they should have gone in to assisted living. oy. well may be. I don't know. I do think now they should have gone in to the apartments but the only one available was too small and claustrophobic. But he is having trouble (or at least complaining) about how far it is to get to dinner. Here again is the classic waiting until a crisis. If they had made the decision earlier, they could have waited a few months until a nice apt was available.
Then last night I got a call from security that he fell in the dining room carrying a tray. I thought maybe they were eating in the cafeteria part (self-serve) instead of the dining room but he said they were short on help. Patience is not his virtue. He was fine. Just scraped his elbow.
Oh, the point of he needs the strap. Who needs the strap? Big Henry, yeah, sure. But this time it is little Henry. See I have some guy coming tomorrow morning to my parents apartment to get the dresser, the last of the free furniture and I asked him if I could pay him $25 to bring the loveseat and cedar chest here to my house and he said yes. I said I had to do it Friday morning, not today, because I was going to have to go to school with my son and sit with him in each class because he is just not doing what he is supposed to. This man said ... sounds like he needs the strap.
Ick. I almost wanted to say ... forget it. I don't like you. But on the other hand I have been thinking lately how kids, especially my kids, have no fear of me. ie. no respect. They were talking about it on the View the other day and how when they were all kids they couldn't talk back to their parents the way kids do now. It got me thinking.
Anyway, Henry natrually freaked out about me being in school with him all day and he did get a note that he did well in English and he got a 15/15 on a math quiz so I gave him a reprieve. But the threat still stands. And honestly, this one is working! :)
After his team meeting on Friday I really thought he would buck up but he still seems to not care. Not with eight women pummeling him about how smart he was but that he needs to do his work AND hand it in (I went through his binder on Tues. We found lots of missing work because he had just shoved stuff in the wrong sections.) So he said to me privately, he thinks he is lazy. duh. Well last year I gave up because he gave up by the end of the year. I am not giving up this year. Even if it kills me. Which it might.
Some days I really wish I could take the strap to Henry, my father and anyone else who gets in my way. It might just feel really good ... for a minute.
And so it goes.
Then I suggested I take both of them and my mother and I could be in the waiting room. Took them separately down to the car in the wheelchair just as the nurse for Independent Living comes running and says wait. He had called her an hour before but hadn't heard back so us being us, we took matters into our own hands. We are now experts at medical crises. She said she finally got a hold of my father's doctor and she was supposed to assess him and then he should see the doctor doing the clinic that day. Their doc has clinic there but not on Mondays. So we get them both back out of the car and up to the Wellness Center. My father can't walk so we get a second wheelchair and someone from At-home services to help. The nurse was frustrated with us. I told her to be patient with us. We are so used to this crisis scenario by now that we just do it ourselves.
So the doc said it coudl be a couple of things, first ... constipation (my guess since my father is so full of it and also a big baby when it comes to illness in himself ... remember he passed out when he was told he had prostate cancer!). Second is diverticulitis which he has had. So he finally got xrays yesterday ... they brought the machine there. And did blood work. He was supposed to have a cat scan today but that was postponed because his creatinine levels were too high and we didn't have the results yet from the blood work or the xrays.
So I took over for my father on Monday and got my mother a shower (which she got very nasty about but hey, she stank!), took her to get her bandage changed and to rehab. Also helped insure they got dinner delivered. It was interesting how my mother bucked up when my father was down. She had more energy, helped make lunch, etc. Part of their mishegoss is that whenever she does something my father hawks her so she gives up. ack.
Anyhoo. He is doing better but I realized that if for instance he had to go to the hospital, my mother could not be left alone. I talked to the resident manager and she said in that case spouses go in to the health center (nursing home) for respite care. Well I am glad that is there but we are talking $350 a day and plus she has been in so many facilities that I don't think that would be good. They only allow up to 8 hours of at home services. So if that happens, I guess I coudl spend the night and just have at home services during the day. I asked about hiring a private duty nurse and the manager said she didn't think that was allowed but would check in to it.
Mr. Doom and Gloom says he was too optimistic and they should have gone in to assisted living. oy. well may be. I don't know. I do think now they should have gone in to the apartments but the only one available was too small and claustrophobic. But he is having trouble (or at least complaining) about how far it is to get to dinner. Here again is the classic waiting until a crisis. If they had made the decision earlier, they could have waited a few months until a nice apt was available.
Then last night I got a call from security that he fell in the dining room carrying a tray. I thought maybe they were eating in the cafeteria part (self-serve) instead of the dining room but he said they were short on help. Patience is not his virtue. He was fine. Just scraped his elbow.
Oh, the point of he needs the strap. Who needs the strap? Big Henry, yeah, sure. But this time it is little Henry. See I have some guy coming tomorrow morning to my parents apartment to get the dresser, the last of the free furniture and I asked him if I could pay him $25 to bring the loveseat and cedar chest here to my house and he said yes. I said I had to do it Friday morning, not today, because I was going to have to go to school with my son and sit with him in each class because he is just not doing what he is supposed to. This man said ... sounds like he needs the strap.
Ick. I almost wanted to say ... forget it. I don't like you. But on the other hand I have been thinking lately how kids, especially my kids, have no fear of me. ie. no respect. They were talking about it on the View the other day and how when they were all kids they couldn't talk back to their parents the way kids do now. It got me thinking.
Anyway, Henry natrually freaked out about me being in school with him all day and he did get a note that he did well in English and he got a 15/15 on a math quiz so I gave him a reprieve. But the threat still stands. And honestly, this one is working! :)
After his team meeting on Friday I really thought he would buck up but he still seems to not care. Not with eight women pummeling him about how smart he was but that he needs to do his work AND hand it in (I went through his binder on Tues. We found lots of missing work because he had just shoved stuff in the wrong sections.) So he said to me privately, he thinks he is lazy. duh. Well last year I gave up because he gave up by the end of the year. I am not giving up this year. Even if it kills me. Which it might.
Some days I really wish I could take the strap to Henry, my father and anyone else who gets in my way. It might just feel really good ... for a minute.
And so it goes.
