andsoitgoestoo

I have gotten some feedback that all I do is complain on my blog. So I have tried to add some of my signature humor lately.

But today I just hit rock bottom. Delete, close the blog, whatever, if you don't want to read this.

Okay. So 8:30 this morning my father calls ostensibly to ask me how to cook the chicken he has in the freezer because he wants to make chicken salad for lunch. I tell him, no, you can't cook it in the microwave. yuk. Then he tells me that my mother who has been getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and then sitting in her recliner instead of going back to bed, did not have a diaper on last night and when he got up he saw a trail of poop (he said a trail and i had to ask my father whether it was poop or pee) from the recliner to the bathroom.

I offered to run some carpet cleaner over there. When I did laundry there for them I noted that they didn't have any Shout or whatever and my father said my mother always used the brown bar soap. So then he told me that he had bought oxiclean (after I told him he needed a stain remover) and that it would work on carpets.

He then went on to tell me that he didn't know if he could handle this and how he needs to watch my mother at all time and he didn't know he needed to check to see if she had a diaper on. I just don't know what to say.

So I say ... Okay. bye. back to work for me cuz see I gotta make a living.

Then I got a call from a teacher at Henry's school. He hasn't handed in his permission slip and money for a field trip. I knew about it because they send home an email every day with homework and stuff like field trips. I had told Henry last week he needed to get it in.

See a few years ago when I was keeping track of all the kids expenditures, Missy had suggested we each take a kid and pay for school costs. I thought that was a great idea. She now says never agreed to my plan.

I have spent a couple of hundred dollars on Eli (the kid I pay for) for marching band outfit rental, tuxedo rental for concert band, $90 for a calculator, $90 for soccer and not to mention I apy for all the stuff regarding church.

Anyhoo I explained to the teacher why I wasn't sending in the money (teachers must hear all this shit so I am not SO embarrassed.) She said she would call Missy. I called Missy and left a message and she called me and said ...

... she didn't have the money
... she has no money because she is going to her nephews wedding in a couple of weeks
... she will pay me back if i pay it
... why doesn' she get notice about these things (um they send home a permssion slip with the costs which Henry lost after I told him to tell her about it)

and when I started to say ... we have this agreement she started yelling that we didn't have an aggrement ... I hung up.

When she came to pick up the kids ... it is her day but Eli's bus comes here and after Henry kept coming here every Wed*which she had major fits about) she finally acquiesced that he could since she needed to pick up Eli anyway. duh. And I really didn't like him going there anyway because he has no phone (he lost it) and they have no landline so I really don't want him there for hours without a phone there.

So she just beeped when she got here but then she called me later and wanted to know if she could pick up the chekc and I said no. I had talked to Henry about this.n and he seemed to undertan. I HATE putting him in the middle but I have finally decided I can't keep doing this for her.

I just don;t get it. First of all if her money is that tight that she can't cough up $32 for a field trip then that really worries me. When I have said no before, okay maybe once, she came up with it. So as I told her she either has to post date the check or tell them she is poor or whatever.

I know I could take the high road and just pay the fucking $32. Do I really have it. No. But kids come first. Not nephews weddings, not cigarettes, not the girlfriends childs support.

I am just really trying to reclaim my power. Whether it is my father, or Missy or the kids. It does no one (well except for one) good if I just let everyone talk to me however they want.

Oh and while I AM complaining ... I told Henry that the county school system just started a free homeschooling program. And if he continues to need one on one help (what I have done with his last few homework assignments) which can't happen in public school, I am going to homeschool him. That really shook him up.

We have a team meeting on Friday so I will have a better handle on it. We choose that day because that was the only day that Missy could possibly come so we will see if she shows. Honestly I hope she doesn't. All she does in these meetings and we have had plenty-- is toot her own horn about all she does to help him which is complete and utter bullshit.

So I cried a lot today. I feel like there is nothing fun or good in my life. I love my kids but they aren't enough and they are both PIA. My parents are still not okay and I still haven't finished cleaning out their apt. My ex just makes me nuts. And then I feel like I am the crazy one.

I really need some fun. A really nice vacation. But no time or money and quite frankly I woudl come back to how my life is so SOS.

I guess I shoudl be greatful to be alive and now healthy. Somehow that isn't giving me any solace tonight.

And so it goes.