Sunday, August 12, 2007
hysterical
I just looked up hysterical on Wikipedia. (I love W btw. My kids poo poo it because they are not allowed to use it for school but I find it an excellent way for me to get quick if not banal information.)
Anyhoo, as interesting as the term hysteria is historically and how it is not PC, I can tell you I was indeed hysterical yesterday. And it was not pretty. (check it out. i had no idea the, ahem, cures, they used to use.)
I surely had reasons for losing it but I kind of think that my recent episode of being flayed open like a fish and gutted and then stitched back ... added to the timbre of the hysteria.
I think I wrote about my father obsessing that he bought $30 worth of pool passes for the kids. But then in past years whenever we went my parents took great pains to sneak them in and most if not all were left anyway. They figured the apt. complex owed them. ugh.
I knew when I did my daily call I would hear how HE wanted the kids to come and swim and about the friggin pool passes. Not whether THEY wanted to but it is all about controlling the kids. Eli didn't want to go. The cement on the sides and floor of the pool are sort of like stucco and he always scrapes himself and last time he scraped himself pretty badly and doesnt' want to go back.
Henry really wanted to go but we couldn't scare up anyone to go with him.
Then my father went on and on about how bad shape he is in and how he made a mistake putting down the deposit and he didn't know what to do and how he can't get anything done because everytime he tries to throw some papers away he starts to read them and then can't bear (bare?) to part with them.
And then he says that maybe he and my mother should move in with me. oh boy. How he would rather pay me $6,000 a month instead of Glen Meadows. Welp, a couple of months ago when I suggested it, I would have jumped at the chance. But now that my mother is worse and I have realized how irrational and mean my father can be, I just don't think it would work.
I did finally mention how when my ex moved out 5 years ago I suggested that we build an addition and have them move in here and they laughed in my face (and that did hurt). He says that five years ago they didn't need it. What, they were going to get younger, not older? And at that point he was 83!
I told him I thought that ship had sailed. He said, yes probably.
Then he said how he can't sleep worrying about me and the boys. And I could tellhe was going to start listing all my failures so I said, please don't do that. You need to be nice to me now and he said I needed to be nice to him for a change. WTF? So I basically hung up on him. Nice. I know. I just said I needed to go, bye. Haven't heard from him since but I am planning on going over there today with the boxes/crates that I ahve been accumulating to help with the move.
Since there was going to be no pool, the kids ended up being vidiots all day and I made the great decision to watch a Lifetime movie about a woman dying of cancer and taking a road trip with her two kids. I think I needed the cry but it was probably not a good decision, you think? :)
However, about every half hour I would put the movie on hold and do some small chore. Dishes. Fold laundry. Minor watering of plants outside and some snipping of plants. Honestly I don't know what else but clearly it was too much or my hormones (or I guess now lack thereof) took over.
I asked Eli to weed wack the patio as chickweed was overtaking it. He was hungry and had to eat before he could possibly do one ounce of work. So I quickly made dinner for him and Henry. He then goes and breaks the week wacker which just sends me into a frenzy. I was yelling and crying about how nothing works. I just hate not being able to do what needs to be done and my garden looks like crap, the zucchini died because of lack of watering. wah. wah.
So I take my sloppy joes upstairs and it is cold and I am crying and the kids come and hug me and Henry heats up my food and they just think I am a real mess.
Oy. Clearly I did overdo it or it was just part of the up and down healing process. I was in a lot of pain last night and had to take a percoset and was bleeding this morning.
Yep. I am pretty sick of all this. Yep.
And so it goes.
Anyhoo, as interesting as the term hysteria is historically and how it is not PC, I can tell you I was indeed hysterical yesterday. And it was not pretty. (check it out. i had no idea the, ahem, cures, they used to use.)
I surely had reasons for losing it but I kind of think that my recent episode of being flayed open like a fish and gutted and then stitched back ... added to the timbre of the hysteria.
I think I wrote about my father obsessing that he bought $30 worth of pool passes for the kids. But then in past years whenever we went my parents took great pains to sneak them in and most if not all were left anyway. They figured the apt. complex owed them. ugh.
I knew when I did my daily call I would hear how HE wanted the kids to come and swim and about the friggin pool passes. Not whether THEY wanted to but it is all about controlling the kids. Eli didn't want to go. The cement on the sides and floor of the pool are sort of like stucco and he always scrapes himself and last time he scraped himself pretty badly and doesnt' want to go back.
Henry really wanted to go but we couldn't scare up anyone to go with him.
Then my father went on and on about how bad shape he is in and how he made a mistake putting down the deposit and he didn't know what to do and how he can't get anything done because everytime he tries to throw some papers away he starts to read them and then can't bear (bare?) to part with them.
And then he says that maybe he and my mother should move in with me. oh boy. How he would rather pay me $6,000 a month instead of Glen Meadows. Welp, a couple of months ago when I suggested it, I would have jumped at the chance. But now that my mother is worse and I have realized how irrational and mean my father can be, I just don't think it would work.
I did finally mention how when my ex moved out 5 years ago I suggested that we build an addition and have them move in here and they laughed in my face (and that did hurt). He says that five years ago they didn't need it. What, they were going to get younger, not older? And at that point he was 83!
I told him I thought that ship had sailed. He said, yes probably.
Then he said how he can't sleep worrying about me and the boys. And I could tellhe was going to start listing all my failures so I said, please don't do that. You need to be nice to me now and he said I needed to be nice to him for a change. WTF? So I basically hung up on him. Nice. I know. I just said I needed to go, bye. Haven't heard from him since but I am planning on going over there today with the boxes/crates that I ahve been accumulating to help with the move.
Since there was going to be no pool, the kids ended up being vidiots all day and I made the great decision to watch a Lifetime movie about a woman dying of cancer and taking a road trip with her two kids. I think I needed the cry but it was probably not a good decision, you think? :)
However, about every half hour I would put the movie on hold and do some small chore. Dishes. Fold laundry. Minor watering of plants outside and some snipping of plants. Honestly I don't know what else but clearly it was too much or my hormones (or I guess now lack thereof) took over.
I asked Eli to weed wack the patio as chickweed was overtaking it. He was hungry and had to eat before he could possibly do one ounce of work. So I quickly made dinner for him and Henry. He then goes and breaks the week wacker which just sends me into a frenzy. I was yelling and crying about how nothing works. I just hate not being able to do what needs to be done and my garden looks like crap, the zucchini died because of lack of watering. wah. wah.
So I take my sloppy joes upstairs and it is cold and I am crying and the kids come and hug me and Henry heats up my food and they just think I am a real mess.
Oy. Clearly I did overdo it or it was just part of the up and down healing process. I was in a lot of pain last night and had to take a percoset and was bleeding this morning.
Yep. I am pretty sick of all this. Yep.
And so it goes.
