Saturday, August 04, 2007
home again home again
Boy, you know I am down for the count if I am not blogging! I can't believe today is Saturday already.
Let's see the operation on MONDAY went well. I am so glad Cathy took me and stayed with me while waiting in the packed waiting room. I think all operations should be done at the crack of dawn because yes I was a little hungry but I would have literally killed for a diet coke. I was so dehydrated by the time they took me in around Noon.
It is hard to be pleasant when you have been asked the same damn questions by a couple of nurses, the anethesiologist, the nurse anesthetist, etc. I don't remember even going into the operating room so that valium did the trick.
The doc talked to Cathy after the operation and said everything went well. Two hours later no one had come and told her anything so she finally said she wanted to come in recovery to see me. Apparently I wasn't waking up very well. Welp. I likes my sleep. Then I was very dehydrated and wasn't peeing and so they checked my hematocrit to make sure I wasn't bleeding internally but that was fine.
I finally got to my room and was pretty out of it. Cathy did some phoning. Oh, she dialed my father and told him who she was and put me on. Well apparently my mother has been having the nurse call my father every night because she is crying that he never visits her. He is there everyday. ugh. So my father says I sounded tired, and I was like duh, and he said well get some sleep because you have a doctor's appt and I was like Dad ... this is Susan! Oh my god.
The first night I was pretty awake I guess because of all the sleep I had had before. They got me up at 5 am to sit in a chair that was hell getting in and out of and they had me in these stockings and these wraps that moved my legs so I wouldn't throw a clot. I found them oddly reassuring.
The nursing staff was great and I had no compunction to call whenever I needed something and even when I didn't. I kept pushing that button instead of the TV. Oops sorry.
I don't know why I was so anxious to get the catheter out because that meant I had to get to the bathroom and boy oh boy that hurt! Sometimes I was able to get back in bed but most times I had to get help. Ouch!
Residents and med students came and went. They all were impressed with my incision. She used subcutaneous stitching and glue so there was no dressing. Matter of fact at first they coudlnt' find it because it was under my fat roll/baby pooch. I finally looked at it yesterday. Troy kept asking if I had looked at it and I said no. But I finally did and all I saw was bruising. Made me kind of sick.
So my doc said she would come by after work on Tuesday and if all was okay I would be dischraged. WTF? I really wanted another night and she didnt' get there until after 7 and I said I didn't want to go home and she said fine but they will want me out by 9. I was like fine. I was up and dressed at 6:30 a.m.
Michael went to work after he came and got me. I took one look at the stairs and was glad he made up the sofa. I slept all day. Matter of fact that is all I have done for the last few days. I don't know how people function on this shit - percocet. I guess you get used to it.
Anyhoo, every day I feel a little better. The only major pain I have is when I move or have gas. I know. Pretty. But let me tell you I have ... gas... I have to do that panting one does when in labor to get through it.
When she said take a week and do NOTHING, she meant it. I wish she had talked to my father. He was here yesterday. I tried to get him to come today when the kids would be here. Oh yeah, the kids are here. Missy had to work today because she took off a day when Camille had a root canal. Nice timing. Eli did need to cut the grass and Henry could do some chores so I said they could come here. A week. That is all i asked!
So, yeah, my father says he has something he wants to talk to me about when the kids aren't around. I should have said ... can't this wait just one fucking week? Oh and he had called me on Tuesday less than 24 hours after my operation to complain about having to use the wheelchair van for my mother's appt that day and how next week if I could just come and not do anything he wanted to try and take her. I basically hung up on him in the hospital. ahhhhhhhh.
No, there was nothing new. It was the same old shit he has been saying over and over again about how my mother isn't getting any better, that he doesn't think he can help her so they can't be independent living, he wishes it was different, blah, blah.
Me - for the umpteenth time -- you can get your deposit back or transfer it to assisted living. We can't do anythign at the moment. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
What am I supposed to do? I am lying here trying to get better for all the people who depend on me. Back off old man. Pathetic. I was thinking today that that is the word for him ... pathetic. And what was even scarier was he brought me a container of grapes like he does for my mother every day and he kissed me on the lips goodbye. Now they do that hello and goodbye but he hasn't kissed me ... ever. I will sometimes kiss him on the cheek but I have to go to him and he just stands there. He is the same with the kids. Ugh. It really freaked me out.
Oh well. Like I said the kids are here. Fighting over who is going to do what chore. I am directing them from the sofa. Michael was smart and bugged out. He has been great. He is kind and generous. I just gotta be patient as everything has a theory and the way I do things apparently could be improved.
I haven't yelled ... just give it to me how I want it ... yet. Amazing since I have used this time to try and stop smoking. My doc said I could take xanax along with the percocet and I ahve a few times. I really, really want this to be it. This to be my turning point to lead a healthier lifestyle. It would be so easy to go back to the way things were. Me being inactive, using smoking to deal with stress. That is my worry. Because the next few months getting my parents moved is going to be a bitch and having smoking to rely on would be nice. We'll see.
Oh, the doc called last night and the biopsy of the lymph nodes came back good. They did find a tumor on the uterus but it had not grown through the muscle.
I am debating whether I am going to find another gyn. Because after years of these bleeding episodes, one of her things was to put me on birth control pills. I still have them. I never started them because I was smoking. That could have masked this and it could have gone past stage 1.
Everyone says what a hero she is. No, I was the one who insisted on the ablation knowing I couldn't take this bleeding anymore. The biopsy was part of the ablation. What do you think?
And so it goes ....
Let's see the operation on MONDAY went well. I am so glad Cathy took me and stayed with me while waiting in the packed waiting room. I think all operations should be done at the crack of dawn because yes I was a little hungry but I would have literally killed for a diet coke. I was so dehydrated by the time they took me in around Noon.
It is hard to be pleasant when you have been asked the same damn questions by a couple of nurses, the anethesiologist, the nurse anesthetist, etc. I don't remember even going into the operating room so that valium did the trick.
The doc talked to Cathy after the operation and said everything went well. Two hours later no one had come and told her anything so she finally said she wanted to come in recovery to see me. Apparently I wasn't waking up very well. Welp. I likes my sleep. Then I was very dehydrated and wasn't peeing and so they checked my hematocrit to make sure I wasn't bleeding internally but that was fine.
I finally got to my room and was pretty out of it. Cathy did some phoning. Oh, she dialed my father and told him who she was and put me on. Well apparently my mother has been having the nurse call my father every night because she is crying that he never visits her. He is there everyday. ugh. So my father says I sounded tired, and I was like duh, and he said well get some sleep because you have a doctor's appt and I was like Dad ... this is Susan! Oh my god.
The first night I was pretty awake I guess because of all the sleep I had had before. They got me up at 5 am to sit in a chair that was hell getting in and out of and they had me in these stockings and these wraps that moved my legs so I wouldn't throw a clot. I found them oddly reassuring.
The nursing staff was great and I had no compunction to call whenever I needed something and even when I didn't. I kept pushing that button instead of the TV. Oops sorry.
I don't know why I was so anxious to get the catheter out because that meant I had to get to the bathroom and boy oh boy that hurt! Sometimes I was able to get back in bed but most times I had to get help. Ouch!
Residents and med students came and went. They all were impressed with my incision. She used subcutaneous stitching and glue so there was no dressing. Matter of fact at first they coudlnt' find it because it was under my fat roll/baby pooch. I finally looked at it yesterday. Troy kept asking if I had looked at it and I said no. But I finally did and all I saw was bruising. Made me kind of sick.
So my doc said she would come by after work on Tuesday and if all was okay I would be dischraged. WTF? I really wanted another night and she didnt' get there until after 7 and I said I didn't want to go home and she said fine but they will want me out by 9. I was like fine. I was up and dressed at 6:30 a.m.
Michael went to work after he came and got me. I took one look at the stairs and was glad he made up the sofa. I slept all day. Matter of fact that is all I have done for the last few days. I don't know how people function on this shit - percocet. I guess you get used to it.
Anyhoo, every day I feel a little better. The only major pain I have is when I move or have gas. I know. Pretty. But let me tell you I have ... gas... I have to do that panting one does when in labor to get through it.
When she said take a week and do NOTHING, she meant it. I wish she had talked to my father. He was here yesterday. I tried to get him to come today when the kids would be here. Oh yeah, the kids are here. Missy had to work today because she took off a day when Camille had a root canal. Nice timing. Eli did need to cut the grass and Henry could do some chores so I said they could come here. A week. That is all i asked!
So, yeah, my father says he has something he wants to talk to me about when the kids aren't around. I should have said ... can't this wait just one fucking week? Oh and he had called me on Tuesday less than 24 hours after my operation to complain about having to use the wheelchair van for my mother's appt that day and how next week if I could just come and not do anything he wanted to try and take her. I basically hung up on him in the hospital. ahhhhhhhh.
No, there was nothing new. It was the same old shit he has been saying over and over again about how my mother isn't getting any better, that he doesn't think he can help her so they can't be independent living, he wishes it was different, blah, blah.
Me - for the umpteenth time -- you can get your deposit back or transfer it to assisted living. We can't do anythign at the moment. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
What am I supposed to do? I am lying here trying to get better for all the people who depend on me. Back off old man. Pathetic. I was thinking today that that is the word for him ... pathetic. And what was even scarier was he brought me a container of grapes like he does for my mother every day and he kissed me on the lips goodbye. Now they do that hello and goodbye but he hasn't kissed me ... ever. I will sometimes kiss him on the cheek but I have to go to him and he just stands there. He is the same with the kids. Ugh. It really freaked me out.
Oh well. Like I said the kids are here. Fighting over who is going to do what chore. I am directing them from the sofa. Michael was smart and bugged out. He has been great. He is kind and generous. I just gotta be patient as everything has a theory and the way I do things apparently could be improved.
I haven't yelled ... just give it to me how I want it ... yet. Amazing since I have used this time to try and stop smoking. My doc said I could take xanax along with the percocet and I ahve a few times. I really, really want this to be it. This to be my turning point to lead a healthier lifestyle. It would be so easy to go back to the way things were. Me being inactive, using smoking to deal with stress. That is my worry. Because the next few months getting my parents moved is going to be a bitch and having smoking to rely on would be nice. We'll see.
Oh, the doc called last night and the biopsy of the lymph nodes came back good. They did find a tumor on the uterus but it had not grown through the muscle.
I am debating whether I am going to find another gyn. Because after years of these bleeding episodes, one of her things was to put me on birth control pills. I still have them. I never started them because I was smoking. That could have masked this and it could have gone past stage 1.
Everyone says what a hero she is. No, I was the one who insisted on the ablation knowing I couldn't take this bleeding anymore. The biopsy was part of the ablation. What do you think?
And so it goes ....
