andsoitgoestoo

My mom needed to see the surgeon yesterday. Because of her wound we decided to use a wheelchair van so I met my parents at the doc's office. I don't think she had quite gotten how bad her leg is. When he took off the bandages she got very upset. I couldn't look but my father did. I felt like I was going to throw up without even seeing it. He debreeded it some more and said it looked good but will take quite a while to heal. The wound vac (an electric drainage thingy) is doing its job but clearly she will need to be in some sort of facility until she doesn't need that anymore. The doc also said she might need a skin graft but her skin is so paper thin, it might not take.

Ugh. I haven't ever seen her this down after this and she was probably thinking she might lose her leg. It is a possibility if it gets infected. My father said she refused to go to PT yesterday. I don't blame her.

So after that I had quite a lot of phone calls with my father who kept saying how he doesn't think that Glen Meadows is a good idea because my mother my not ever return to independent living and that they might need to go into assisted living. He was backtracking but my special agent in charge of thinking clearly, Troy, suggested we find out if the deposit is refundable. It is! They have four months to put the final monies down and move in. So we are hedging our bets and at least have one option ahead of us.

I feel bad for my father. He is saying that he has really gone down hill in the last four months with all this both physically and mentally. I don't know what to say. I wanted to say ... Well, yeah, you are 88 and you fucking idiot if you had moved even a year ago we wouldn't be in this position. And if you hadn't gone out to my cousin's stupid party and did your pulling mom out of the car instead of helping her get up, she probably wouldn't have fell and gotten this wound. And, um, if you weren't such a bastard to me at times, I might offer for you to move in here again.

But no. Didn't say any of that. I did say that if god forbid my mother did die, he could still move there and get any assistance that he needs. He agreed.

I tell you this is soul-sucking. I do what I can and I know they appreciate it but for all my father's bluster about being such a good planner, this is not ... good planning.

Anyhoo, he did go and put down the deposit today at Glen Meadows. Yay! He called me right after and said his head is spinning. I'm sure. It took them five years to make a decision about selling the house and where to move to.

I did my pre-op stuff at Sinai this morning and then went to visit my mom. She was in rehab when I got there. She looked good and was in good spirits. She was walking with the walker.

In a way I am glad she will have to be there for a while so I won't have to worry about them two at the apt by themselves with no help.

I feel like I should be doing more like going over there and cleaning but I just don't have the energy. I really want to get my house clean and I can't seem to be able to even do that.

So today was a good day. My mom seemed better and my father finally made a decision.

Oh, I finally met their minister who has been visiting regularly and my mother likes a lot. She had said he is young. Um. hello. He is not ancient but I guess to her 60 is young. :)

A nurse came to ask me if the minister was still there and I said I saw him in another room and took her there but he had left. I figured what had happened and then later I heard her telling an aide that a woman had died and her husband was in the room and they were giving him privacy. Lovely. I guess it was for support because as far as I know Lutheran ministers don't give last rites.

And so it goes.