Thursday, May 10, 2007
team meeting redux
We had another team meeting for Henry on Monday. Needless to say afterwards I could feel my blood pressure going through the roof. I was indeed right about not going last time. I just can't stand being in a meeting with Missy.
First of all she didn't respond to the meeting request. Her computer died. When they again asked for confirmation, she told me to tell them to just go ahead and schedule it and she would try to be there. Remember she is the one who asked for the meeting and she canceled it once before. So I do as I am told and then she gets on email at work and asks them to change it again. I was surprised when she actually showed.
I had begged her over the weekend to go over the results of the academic evaluation I had done at a private company before the meeting. I wanted to see if there were any learning disabilities that were the reason that this extremely intelligent kid got F's in two classes and will probably this term too. She refused. She just wanted to read the report and I refused because the report is mostly the scores which of course are very high. Just like his IQ when we had him tested in 2nd grade. But that is only part of the picture. She just says he is smart and not trying. The evaluator didn't put her personal comments in the report and I wanted to talk to her about them. Oh well.
The academic evaluator is recommending he see a psychiatrist. Because she is not a PhD, she is cagey about what she says but clearly to me she is seeing a mood and/or anxiety disorder. Because while he has ADHD, he is very bright and shouldn't' be failing. Something else is going on.
Anyhoo, we got there and as usual Missy holds forth. She does all the talking and doesn't listen. She brings some of his writing to show that he can write. No duh. It is not about capability. I didn't know but Henry came in half way. They had arranged that at the last team meeting that I didn't go to.
So she spent most of the rest of the time lecturing him. She tells him what he thinks/feels. She doesn't ask him. She is using failing and summer school as punitive gestures. I had said before he got there that I didn't want him to feel punished but she went ahead and did it anyway.
So she spent most of the rest of the time lecturing him. She tells him what he thinks/feels. She doesn't ask him. She is using failing and summer school as punitive gestures. I had said before he got there that I didn't want him to feel punished but she went ahead and did it anyway.
Then she tells him if he does have to do summer school not only can't he do camp but he will not be able to go to Three Mile Island (NH not PA) where they vacation every year. I love that she can always come up with that money, thousands, when she hasn't bought Eli a pair of shoes in five years and the only pair she bought Henry were girls shoes.
He looked like he was going tp cry and his teacher could tell and rubbed his back. Does Missy cue in to what his FEELINGS are? NO!
The teachers are great but for a kid who can't stay on task in a class of 25, it is too much to ask them to hold his hand. The evaluator suggested private school. Yeah, well a 1:9 ratio would be better but it isn't in the cards.
The teachers are great but for a kid who can't stay on task in a class of 25, it is too much to ask them to hold his hand. The evaluator suggested private school. Yeah, well a 1:9 ratio would be better but it isn't in the cards.
Henry is also saying that he doesn't mind being pulled out of GT science and Math because since he is a year younger than most kids it is like GT. Well yes and no. Given his potential it is not about age. It is about fitting into the mold of GT students in the public schools which IMNSHO is more about being compliant than being gifted. I could have been in GT classes because I was compliant and never would have gone to school without my homework. However, I know my IQ and I am not gifted and well, my talents are limited. :)
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
The meeting was useless. Henry has given up on Math. The math teacher was not there because of all the switching of times and she is the one most concerned about him. The science teacher wasn't there because she wasn't' feeling well and as Missy and I were fighting outside the school she was wheeled out on a stretcher. ack. She even managed to print his interim before going to the school nurse. Now that is dedication!
I just feel like not only is he failing but we failed him. How did we get from the beginning of school when I looked back at the report cards and emails that he was doing okay but just disorganized to this.
This along with his problem regulating his moods makes me agree with the evaluator that something else is going on. That it is not the right meds or he needs additional meds like a mood stabilizer.
That is what Missy and I were fighting about. She is totally against it. She just says he isn't trying hard enough. And also how it seems he has more problems here. I think we have come to accept a new normal. Where we accept behavior that is indeed not NORMAL. And I know they have problems over there.
I think the reason it happens more here is because I interact with him more and have expectations of chores, respect, etc. They both still tell me that basically when Missy is home she is in her room smoking and watching TV. I know they exaggerate and it is a maturity thing to globalize things but I think they FEEL this is true.
And now they say Missy is working 7 days a week so when she is home, I am sure she needs downtime.
Great. So crazy Camille is parenting them. Camille however was the one who looked over his weather project for science. I was on the phone with Henry last weekend and I told him to ask Missy to look it over and he asked her and she said no. I don't know if she meant then or ever but it worked out that way.
I don't know if the teachers thought I was an ass too. I clearly got frustrated with her spending the time showing off in front of the teachers lecturing Henry. I know most people see through her. But I worry how stupid I look too. I try and keep my cool but it is so hard. And since I am on edge with the parental units who are right now yelling to one another in the other room ... my nerves are fried.
But I hate it that I can't keep my cool. Standing outside I was trying to explain that I think we need to investigate this and she was telling me why do I have to always dx him and I said I am not. I am just trying to help fix this and she says he is not bipolar and I said I am not saying that. You fucking bipolar beeatch. Didn't say that but I did say ... oh now that you are a child psychologist ... oh right ... you aren't a psychologist ... and she walked away. hah. She used to always tell people she was a psychologist and it was so embarrassing because people would then ask further questions and she would have to tell them she has an MA in psychology.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
So yeah, no wonder Henry is so screwed up.
And so it goes.
Labels: henry
