Wednesday, May 16, 2007
hormone hell
This is one of those morning where remorse starts to build when I open my eyes and will haunt me the rest of the day. I was a horrid mother and actually human being last night.
My perimenopause has brought me unending, gushing, weakening bleeding for over a week now. I finally filled and starting taking a prescription of progesterone. I couldn't go on this way basically unable to leave the house. But boy I am so sensitive to anything I put in my body but particularly hormones.
It started yesterday morning when I wanted to throw the kids computer out the window. Eli needs to finish his movie for his oral history project. He interviewed my father. First we couldn't get it from the camera to their new computer that is supposed to be one that is made for media. So I put the video on my computer that has a firewire port. Then we couldn't email it to their computer. I don't have a DVD burner. So finally yesterday when I was already feeling wonky, I did realize I could just put it in a shared folder and pickup it up on their computer via our network.
Then I spent a good amount of time trying to get Windows Movie Maker to work. To no avail.
When Eli got home I was already spinning because I found a paper that said the presentation was due in two days. Or so I thought. So I was trying to help him edit the interview which is 22 minutes long down to the required 3-5 minutes. That's my job right? Make sure he does his homework.
Well we couldnt' get it to work. And I don't know. I felt like I was goign to jump out of my skin. I didn't want to hit but I did want to yell, slam doors and break things. It was awful.
I finally apologized to the kids and went to bed at about 7pm. I wasn't fit company for anyone. It was like PMS times 1,000.
Finally I felt better and we all watched a taped Lost in my room.
I did wake up this morning with that terrible hole in my stomach. Feeling awful. Feeling childish. Feeling like I modeled the same behavior that I am trying to teach them not to exhibit.
I told them the good news I only have 8 more days on the progesterone.
Henry said ... great ... and I am with you this weekend. Then they both kissed me and left for school.
And so it goes
My perimenopause has brought me unending, gushing, weakening bleeding for over a week now. I finally filled and starting taking a prescription of progesterone. I couldn't go on this way basically unable to leave the house. But boy I am so sensitive to anything I put in my body but particularly hormones.
It started yesterday morning when I wanted to throw the kids computer out the window. Eli needs to finish his movie for his oral history project. He interviewed my father. First we couldn't get it from the camera to their new computer that is supposed to be one that is made for media. So I put the video on my computer that has a firewire port. Then we couldn't email it to their computer. I don't have a DVD burner. So finally yesterday when I was already feeling wonky, I did realize I could just put it in a shared folder and pickup it up on their computer via our network.
Then I spent a good amount of time trying to get Windows Movie Maker to work. To no avail.
When Eli got home I was already spinning because I found a paper that said the presentation was due in two days. Or so I thought. So I was trying to help him edit the interview which is 22 minutes long down to the required 3-5 minutes. That's my job right? Make sure he does his homework.
Well we couldnt' get it to work. And I don't know. I felt like I was goign to jump out of my skin. I didn't want to hit but I did want to yell, slam doors and break things. It was awful.
I finally apologized to the kids and went to bed at about 7pm. I wasn't fit company for anyone. It was like PMS times 1,000.
Finally I felt better and we all watched a taped Lost in my room.
I did wake up this morning with that terrible hole in my stomach. Feeling awful. Feeling childish. Feeling like I modeled the same behavior that I am trying to teach them not to exhibit.
I told them the good news I only have 8 more days on the progesterone.
Henry said ... great ... and I am with you this weekend. Then they both kissed me and left for school.
And so it goes
Labels: medical mish mosh
