Thursday, May 10, 2007
alone again
Welp, we got my mom to the apartment today. The movers came and got the necessities of her life .... the bed, the TV, her recliner. They also helped reassemble my dining room.
I wouldn't let my father take my mother earlier because I wanted to be there to help her get up the steps to the apartment. Of course somehow they got there before me and my mother was already in the apt. Pissed me off. My father is so fucking stubborn. If you saw how rickety he was you wouldn't want him helping her either. Actually she is better on her feet than he is. I wanted to just leave right then because he was very anxious all morning and then was yelling at me when the movers were here. I had had it. But I recovered.
The movers are russian and very nice and the one guy was here last time. I don't think he quite understood why three weeks later he was moving all this stuff back. But then again with my father all bossy and impossible, maybe he did get it.
My mother was very happy to be home. But she really doesn't have much interest in doing anything around the house. She eventually got her beer and went and sat on the balcony while my father and I put things together.
We got these risers for the bed because it was too low for her to get in and out of. Well they have these twin beds that are like hospital beds where the feet and the head can go up or down. The wheels of the bed fit into these cones that raise the bed and they can't be moved once they are on or they fall off. Since they push the two twins together to make a king (why did they get twin beds I don't know), it was quite the show with my father and I on the floor trying to get the risers on and then push the beds together. But we perserved because my mother really wanted to be able to snuggle with her Henry tonight. awwwwwwwww.
My father had to do everything quick and right then and I was really worried about him. I finally said I was taking a break hoping he would take a break. He didn't and then I was trying to make the bed and wouldnt' leave me alone so I said ... I am leaving if you don't let me just make this bed.
The linens were filthy and he didn't know where fresh ones were. He thought they were in the cedar chest which is locked and they can't find the key. Well. I found them in the .... linen closet!
Amazing how men of his generation just never did or know about certain things.
OMG, as I was putting my moms clothes away I was looking in the closets. There is SO much shit in there. So many chotchkes. I am going to take shit out of there every day without them knowing.
And the tub is pretty disgusting. It has mildew. I guess I need to scrub it but the last time I used some heavy duty cleaner I almost passed out. I have used non-toxic stuff for years. Before it was au courant ... natch. But I don't think that stuff does the trick for really tough things. Oh well, that will be another day.
The PT was coming after I left and she was going to discharge my mother. And the OT is coming tomorrow and will probably do the same. And the nurse discharged her already.
Other than cleaning, I think they might get away without hiring help for now.
My father started going off about how much he likes it there, how they can live there for $1,000 a month instead of $6,000 at the assisted living place. And again it is all about the fucking food. Same as 10 years ago when they were talking about Oakcrest. How they like to do takeout or go to the VFW and if they are paying for it ... they won't do it. I said, you can still go out to eat but he sees it as he is paying $1,000 a week for food. He just doesn't get it. There are a few other services/benefits to the assisted living but yes ... it is pricey. And this was the cheapest I could find!
When he was going off I didn't mention how just a few months ago he was saying he didn't think he could keep up with doing everything. And that was when I offered for them to move in here and he was thinking about it. That was until he realized (and so did I) that we can't live under the same roof. Never could, really. I guess compared to being in assisted living or coming over here everyday to my horrible house with its myriad of problems, him doing everything in the apartment doesn't seem so bad.
So for now we will see. I am going over there tomorrow morning after I take the dogs for their day at the friggin spa. I will try and give my mom a shower. We have made a number of accomdations in the bathroom.
I kind of miss my mom being here. It is amazing how we adjust to new normals so quickly.
I would put her to bed and kiss her farhead and said ... luv you mommy. And she would say ... love you to sweetie.
It was nice.
And so it goes.
I wouldn't let my father take my mother earlier because I wanted to be there to help her get up the steps to the apartment. Of course somehow they got there before me and my mother was already in the apt. Pissed me off. My father is so fucking stubborn. If you saw how rickety he was you wouldn't want him helping her either. Actually she is better on her feet than he is. I wanted to just leave right then because he was very anxious all morning and then was yelling at me when the movers were here. I had had it. But I recovered.
The movers are russian and very nice and the one guy was here last time. I don't think he quite understood why three weeks later he was moving all this stuff back. But then again with my father all bossy and impossible, maybe he did get it.
My mother was very happy to be home. But she really doesn't have much interest in doing anything around the house. She eventually got her beer and went and sat on the balcony while my father and I put things together.
We got these risers for the bed because it was too low for her to get in and out of. Well they have these twin beds that are like hospital beds where the feet and the head can go up or down. The wheels of the bed fit into these cones that raise the bed and they can't be moved once they are on or they fall off. Since they push the two twins together to make a king (why did they get twin beds I don't know), it was quite the show with my father and I on the floor trying to get the risers on and then push the beds together. But we perserved because my mother really wanted to be able to snuggle with her Henry tonight. awwwwwwwww.
My father had to do everything quick and right then and I was really worried about him. I finally said I was taking a break hoping he would take a break. He didn't and then I was trying to make the bed and wouldnt' leave me alone so I said ... I am leaving if you don't let me just make this bed.
The linens were filthy and he didn't know where fresh ones were. He thought they were in the cedar chest which is locked and they can't find the key. Well. I found them in the .... linen closet!
Amazing how men of his generation just never did or know about certain things.
OMG, as I was putting my moms clothes away I was looking in the closets. There is SO much shit in there. So many chotchkes. I am going to take shit out of there every day without them knowing.
And the tub is pretty disgusting. It has mildew. I guess I need to scrub it but the last time I used some heavy duty cleaner I almost passed out. I have used non-toxic stuff for years. Before it was au courant ... natch. But I don't think that stuff does the trick for really tough things. Oh well, that will be another day.
The PT was coming after I left and she was going to discharge my mother. And the OT is coming tomorrow and will probably do the same. And the nurse discharged her already.
Other than cleaning, I think they might get away without hiring help for now.
My father started going off about how much he likes it there, how they can live there for $1,000 a month instead of $6,000 at the assisted living place. And again it is all about the fucking food. Same as 10 years ago when they were talking about Oakcrest. How they like to do takeout or go to the VFW and if they are paying for it ... they won't do it. I said, you can still go out to eat but he sees it as he is paying $1,000 a week for food. He just doesn't get it. There are a few other services/benefits to the assisted living but yes ... it is pricey. And this was the cheapest I could find!
When he was going off I didn't mention how just a few months ago he was saying he didn't think he could keep up with doing everything. And that was when I offered for them to move in here and he was thinking about it. That was until he realized (and so did I) that we can't live under the same roof. Never could, really. I guess compared to being in assisted living or coming over here everyday to my horrible house with its myriad of problems, him doing everything in the apartment doesn't seem so bad.
So for now we will see. I am going over there tomorrow morning after I take the dogs for their day at the friggin spa. I will try and give my mom a shower. We have made a number of accomdations in the bathroom.
I kind of miss my mom being here. It is amazing how we adjust to new normals so quickly.
I would put her to bed and kiss her farhead and said ... luv you mommy. And she would say ... love you to sweetie.
It was nice.
And so it goes.
